I found this article today on www.news24.com & in my current frame of mind I fully agree with what is being said.

Doing it for the children
06/07/2007 08:21 - (SA)

Colleen Figg

Reading a blog today by a friend of mine about life in previous generations, I was strongly reminded of my Uncle Ted (now 77) and a conversation we had not so long ago when he was talking about his early love for cricket.

He said that as a young lad - part of an eight child family - if he wanted to play cricket he had to arrange his passage to the game plus the equipment he needed to play with. If that meant working cleaning brass at the local church, or weeding the neighbour's garden, he did it.

His parents were not expected to hang onto his every word about games he had played, would play or wanted to play, nor were they expected to indulge his whims and find a way to pay for a cricket bat, or shin pads.

Furthermore it was not even considered that they might appear on the sidelines shouting encouragement and making disparaging remarks about the opposition or the umpire's decisions.

Here, there and everywhere

My point here is that the children of today are over-indulged, over-understood and over-protected. They are not expected to work for what they want, nor pay for sports equipment they need.

Their parents are expected to ship them here, there and everywhere and they leap out of the car on arrival with nary a thank you nor any real feeling of gratitude. It is their right.

They are weak-willed, self-serving, materialistic, shallow, selfish, disrespectful, grabbing, forceful, money-orientated, ungrateful little beasts [on the whole]. And if this is how they are at ages 10 - 18 I fear, really I do, to wonder about the kind of adults they will grow into.

The real sad part here is that this is what we as parents have turned them into by making them unaccountable to authority (no more corporal punishment) and by buying or giving them everything they think they need. Every time we fold, in order to remain "popular", on an important matter of morals or ethics, we are compounding the problem.

Rose tinted specs

By worrying about possible "damage" we may do, we have become afraid to stamp our authority on the family group, so that our children are left without direction and without firm standards, ideals or sense of duty.

You've got children threatening to take their parents to court if their parents want to enforce any kind of discipline. You've got hooliganism and gangsterism in the classrooms, children laughing out loud at any attempts made to control them, loudly citing their "rights" as laid down in the Constitution of this and other countries. No one is teaching them about their obligations as citizens of this world.

I'm sure there will be a number of respondents who will wonder aloud what sort of children I know since theirs could never be anything like what I am describing here and to you in advance I say, "well done"; to the rest I say, "take off your rose tinted specs, before they get ripped from you and you have to face a reality you were part of wreaking".

This is a reality that cannot easily be undone.

Send your comments to Colleen.

Disclaimer: News24 encourages freedom of speech and the expression of diverse views. The views of columnists published on News24 are therefore their own and do not necessarily represent the views of News24.

There are times in a parents life when you question if you are a crap parent, today is my day.

Vj went to his Gf for the afternoon yesterday with the strict instruction to home last night.

This morning I discovered he did not come home so being the parent I called him on his mobile to find it was off so I called the gf's mothers mobile whe i got hold of him I expalined to him that i was not a happy mother & why the HELL did he not call me. He tried to tell me my phone was off I pointed out that the home phone was one & so was DH's phone. I then proceded to tell him tht he had better be home by 9am at to expect all hell to break loose when I got home.

By 12 he still was not home & called me to tell me he was going to his grandparents for the night to which I said HELL NO & promptly call the grandfather (ex daddy in law) & told him VJ was not going anywhere as he did not have my consent to which I was informed that VJ was moving in with his aunt who lives 2 hours away & that there was I quote "nothing all I can do about it"as Vj was old enough to decide where he wants to live.

I also called the aunt & told her that did not want him living with her & that he was my son. Anyway the discussion was very heated but he said she would let VJ stay there if he wanted to & that there was nothing I could do about it.

So in short my son has moved out at the ripe old age of 17.... I refuse to pay for his upkeep in someone elses home.

And there is nothing I can do about it.

To add to this his ex is pissed off cus now he will not be visiting the GB. I told her that it was out on my hands & she need to speak to him about it. in the mean time I am still expected to pay for this child of his... whoopeee

thats my rant for the day.

On the advise of my mother I am not going to do anything but sit & wait to see what happens... believe me this is very hard for me as I am the doer... I make things happen... but for once in my life i have to agree with her & take the wait & see action.

I still question myself as a parent as i did everything for him even put my marriage on the line for him I guess i am an idiot for letting this child control me for so long.

Daniel is in a state, Keira keeps asking for him all is just so bloody dandy.



How can this child hurt me so much because he cannot live with the rules of the house.

I have no idea when he intends to see dylan again either but tht is between him & the ex I am no longer going to get involved.

well when thing slowed down at work i started thinking about Steffy's birth mother. I took out the number I have for her cousins place & gave it a call. An old lady answered & told me that Zandile was in hospital, I panicked & asked if she was ok, granny said yes she was having a BABY. Yes you read right Steffy's birth mother is having another baby hell Steffy is not even a year yet.

I tried to contact the social worker in Durban to let her know unfortunatly she has taken a half day, so I left a message with her boss with all the details.

I sat here staring at my PC wondering about the new baby... what is it, will she give this one up as well, does she know who the father is?

Then I did what I do best I HUNTED her down as granny did not know which hospital she was in .... I called the hosiptal where Steffy was born & got no answer so I call the Addington Hospital... this hospital & I have a very long history.... My mother was its matron, I was born in it, Vincent was born in it & Keira was born in it.... & Yes Zandile is admitted there in the maternity section & is currently in full labour.

I informed the social worker & she will be calling the hospital social worker to keep her there until Monday as they want to speak to her. They seriously doubt that her circumstances have changed & they are worried about the new baby.

When I tld DH about what was going on he had a very good laugh & then added NO we are not having another one.

This is where the problem comes in.... I could not in all good thinking not adopt this new baby if it is available as i would continualy worry about Steffy's sibling.

Am I NUTS?

My mind is racing all over the show.

Help please advise.... what should I do?

Hi all, its snowing in Johannesburg.
Vincent woke me up at about 11pm to tel me it was snowing I honestly though he had lost it cus it just does not snow here, any how I drag myself out of my warm bed to see this here said SNOW.... as I looked at the street light I said to Vincent that it looks like bugs but after a minute of squinting I saw that it was really snowing. I climbed back in to my warm bed & left the kids to watch the snow but I was dragged out of bed again when everything was white. The kids had been outside & made snow angels & a mini snowman. Where was my camara.....at work *sob* the pics I have here were taken on Dh's cell this morning so they are of crappy quality. I asked Vincent to take Keira out to play in the snow as who knows when we will get some again.

Am taking my camara home just in case it snows again tonight.




For more news on the snow & other South african news stories see my other blog sanewstories.blogstream.com

Steffy has tooth number 3 it popped out yesterday. Wow my baby girl is growing up way to quickly.

All the other kids seem to be fine. Daniel is relaxing & enjoying his school holidays. VJ has been studying hard & his marks are improving. Keira's chest infection is a thing of the past. Dh's eys still looks nasty... it looked like a giant zit (yuck) anyway the thing exploded on Sunday (double yuck) he is on antibiotics & pain killers.

R is doing ok she seems to stress to much about other ppl but then that is just how she is. She is moving this weekend into her own place I am so proud of her.

Me well .... work is being a challenge ... I am working my butt off with my new duties.... sure they will get easier once I get the hang of it.

My mom is flying back from the UK she has been visiting my sister for 3 weeks & it sounds like they had a wonderful time.

hope all is well with the rest of you.