Our adoption reports have been with the Durban social worker for a week now. I am wondering if I should call her just to check if there is anything else that she needs from us but then I think…. “Maybe she will think I am being pushy”. DH says I should call & put myself out of my own misery…..I am driving him nuts.

This weekend I went to my sister in laws baby shower. It was great she is such a special person & I am excited for her about the bundle of joys that is due in April. Only draw back to the day was that I had to deal with OUR mother-outlaw. It was not pretty & as yet I have no idea how to deal with it.

Here is the mail discussion I had with S.I.L:

ME:
Hi
Hope you had a great day on Saturday. sorry I left so early, but our mother-outlaw got on my wrong side so I thought it would be best is I left before I put my foot in it.

Love

me

S.I.L
Hi Tina

Thank you so much for coming on Saturday and for spoiling us!! I obviously didn't want you to leave early but can
understand fully why you would want to!! At least on a day like Saturday I realise that it's not just us being funny about our mother-outlaw!! So many people approached me said how strange she is and how unhappy she looks!
I wanted to ask you why you didn't bring Keira with?....I want my mom to see how cute she is...we have told her all about Keira!

Was mother-outlaw upset with you because you told her about the adoption or what it something else? My mom told me that you had told her!

Love
XXXX

ME:
Hi
I was not aware that Keira could come with else I would have brought her, she would have loved all the little ones. Yes I broke it to her that we were adopting again & it went down like a lead bullet.

No I was upset with her as some one asked her if she had any grand children & she said no this was her first. The women then asked her if DH did not have children & she said no Tina has two boys & they adopted a girl.

Anyway I told DH to speak to her & until he does I will not be attending anymore functions & her house. I know this seems petty but I can not help myself.

Hugs

Tina

S.I.L:
Sorry I didn't even think to mention to you to bring her as I just thought you would....I also think she would've had a ball!

Someone did actually mention to me what you have just told me and it upsets me so much! It's like me saying that I don't have nephews and it would never even cross my mind not to say it! Seen and though this bother's you and I maybe I should also speak to her about it? How would you feel about it if I did? It's not petty Tina like I have said before I have cousin's that are adopted and we have accepted them as our family and cousin's since day one....we love them like they our own blood relatives...end of story!

This must hurt you so much and that upsets me and I think we need to sort it out!

ME:
thanks for understanding xxx. I am happy that u actually heard it from someone else as well.

Anyway I am hoping DH speaks to her cus if I do it is not going to be "pretty".

If she refuses to accept the boys I can live with that but Keira is DH's daughter according to law & she need to acknoledge it.

Hun the last thing I want is friction between you & her (that will come in time I am sure). I feel its time DH sorted this out once & for all.

S.I.L:
I think DH will be too nice to her! She should accept the boy's .....we don't refer to them as your son's they are our nephew's!

There always has and think there will always be friction between her and I and I am really not worried to talk to her about something that bother's you and I......but I do however respect the fact that it's Steve's mom and he should speak to her....I hope it gets sorted out.....it's about time!

Let me know how it goes!

Love
Me

So now I wait for DH to deal with this…. Am I over reacting?

Well I do not know what to do.... the school contacted me with the name of the kid who beat Daniel.... he is a 16 year old who is constantly in trouble.

He is an adopted child his mother has asked welfare to remove him as she feels that he is a threat to the family.

My problem is I am finding it difficult to open a case of assault against this child as I know where he is coming from but i also want this child to learn that you can not be angry with everyone in life just because you are adopted & things do not feel like they are going right in your life.

Any suggestions?

We feel we have started the ball rolling and want to keep it in motion, but all this waiting around makes us a bit downhearted to be honest.

It's a case of simply 'waiting around'. I don't want to go out in case the phone rings and it is the social worker. But I don't want to be sat here on pins either.

So, we have to carry on with everything as before, whilst waiting for this life-changing event to happen.

Throughout everything, it is the waiting that is the hardest to bear.

So much of our time this week has been taken up with talking...and waiting for the phone to ring...

It is hard, very hard, to just sit and wait, and even harder to carry on as normal, so we have no choice but to do just that. Wait.

I have just recieved a call from my eldest son to let me know that Daniel my youngest was beatn up by 4 boys from his school. Daniel says he does not even know these kids.

Vincent tried to find them but they had vanished into thin air. the can court their luckey star that they had, cus Vincent was ready willing & very able to give them back some of there own medicine.

I contact the school & let them know what had happened & tomorrow they will have a special assembly so that Daniel can identify the little sods. The school has promised to provide me with their names & contact details.

Vincent will be walking Daniel to & from school for the rest of the school term.

I am taking Daniel to the clinic tonight just to make sure that there are no serious injuries.

School bullies are everywhere & this is not the first time this has happened to Daniel.... he is a very soft boy which makes him a very easy target He goes to a trade school & there is a lot of riff raff at the school.

Anyway I hope the school sorts it out if not I am sure Vincent will find the little sods & have a nice talk to them.

I keep checking my email with the hope that there is something there about Steffy. I even check to make sure the mobile & email is actually working.
Hmmm should I call the social worker to see if there is any news.... I could but then I might seem to be pushy & that is the last thing I want to be.

As I said somewhere in this blog... adoption is nerve wrecking.

In the mean time I continue to drive myself nuts....